“I think I want to move to Tijuana,” says Redditor on his first visit

So… announcing my tours on Reddit has generated me some clients and much interest on the website. This past Friday I announced a tour that included all the shows going on in Tijuana, but there were too many  at the same time that it was pretty much impossible to go to all of them. An impromptu tour was booked basically at the last minute.

A Redditor (who prefers to remain anonymous), sent me a message – “Hey me and a friend are crossing over to TJ tonight. I’ve been a couple of times, but it is going to be his first time. What do you recommend we do? I was planning on tacos, beers, and stoping by hk just to see lol.”

I replied about all the shows going on, my personal recommendations and I told him I was willing to meet him if they paid for my beers and what not. He answered “Hey im down to meet up and get a brief tour im drinking at restaurante el torito on revolucion. I have data reception here.” I fucking hate el torito on revolución. Please if you read this and you visit Tijuana, never go to that place. It even inspired my first published article in the San Diego Reader. Also, apparently telling people I’m a writer for the Reader can help validate my credentials as a tour guide, since this particular redditor was a fan of the magazine.

The Redditor that contacted me and his friend decided to remain anonymous for a a good reason. I forgot the basic rule that XXX tour sales very well, so let’s called them “Pepe” and “Esteban.” I met them before 7 pm outside that shithole of a place named el torito and headed for some craft beers at Mamut. Then we walked around downtown but the people in Tijuana do not come out to party until around midnight. Since there was not much to do, we decided to go check out the famous Hong Kong, aka adult Disneyland.

There I had a conversation that I thought I would never have with Esteban, who is a recent college grad thinking about moving to San Diego. “I think I might move down here to Tijuana, do you think you can find me a place with parking?” Esteban asked me as a girl danced completely naked in front of us and were surrounded by hundreds of other beautiful women. They were both keen on a cute girl with glasses, but both were very shy when it came to talking to the girls, though they claimed to be fluent in Spanish (Pepe has a girlfriend, so we can pardon him).

We spent a few dollars on titties and beer but we left before things got to heavy. We found our way back to 6xth street were a number of events were going on. Mezcal shots went down in La Mezcalera which got Pepe and Esteban a bit drunk, but it was still too early for Tijuanenses to be out in bars.  So we went back to the XXX area, where is always packed with people, and into Adelita bar. There we sat next to four Americans (3 guys and 1 girl) who claimed to be regular patrons of the area. Esteban chatted up the girl, even though she seemed to be with her boyfriend. The girl gave us dollars so we could spend them on the strippers, Pepe refused to partake. In fact, Pepe was getting tired and by 11:00 pm he decided he had his last beer and the party was over. Esteban insisted in walking a few more times through the XXX area while drunkenly try to talk to the hookers, but a few minutes later I accompanied them to get a taxi that would take them to the border.

Again, there were no pictures of the adventure, but it looked something like this other previous adventure.

After they left, the party was just starting in Tijuana so I headed down to Mous-Tache and La Mezcalera for an Adventure of my own. Both places were packed to the brim, Phantoms (two DJs from LA) played and an awesome show at Mous-Tache. I made it back to my place a bit past 3 am and downtown Tijuana had no signs of slowing down. I heard my roommate come back at around 6 am.

The party in Tijuana goes on for much much longer than what people imagine (it’s virtually 24/7). But this is not that practical for tours, especially for those who do not want to stay in a hotel and plan to make it back home. I’m sure that most people want to cross back to the USA before 10 pm, which defies the purpose of a true Tijuana Adventure, but nonetheless they are a blast. I hope next adventurers stay for long to have the true experience, but TJ is a blast no matter what.